Friday, January 25, 2008

Entry XXIX--Hub Bub

Another major American city, another Bye Bull protest apparently.

But this one has a decidedly different bent to it--reflecting the inherent contradictions in Beantown.

On one hand, a decidedly liberal, progressive college town. On the other hand, blue-collar, Irish-Catholic, lots of that Northeast social conformity going on.

MAYBE IN D.C. I SPEAK BEFORE A MORE CONSERVATIVE CROWD AND PLAY UP THE LIBERTARIAN ASPECTS OF BYE BULL

expect this in such liberal environs...

Hits me that Boston is notoriously Irish and that means Catholic. They'd naturally despise my takes on such tasty topics as abortion.

Wrong again as the stretch limo pulls into the bookstore parking lot, driving past the two lines of people greeting me, one row of people on each side of the car. We're close enough that I can make out some of the signs held up by the protesters.

THERE SHOULD BE A MIX OF CATHOLICS AND LIBERALS AND CATHOLIC LIBERALS, THOSE ARE THE ONES WHO REALLY GOT IT IN FOR ME

Being the masochist I am, pull my cellphone out of the mothballs of my pocket finally having found a use for it:

DARWIN GRIMM HATES LIBERAL CHRISTIANS MORE THAN HE DOES CHRIST!

Someone sporting a T-shirt from a group called Liberals For Christian also sports a sign proclaiming:THIS 'DARWIN' DOES NOT WANT US TO EVOLVE!

GRIMM EQUATES CHRISTIAN CHARITY WITH CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISM!

And on the other side of the sign:

THAT'S WHY HIS BOOK SUCKS!

Now that hurts. That is unless he didn't actually read Bye Bull, and would have no way of knowing whether or not it 'sucked'--duppose that would restore my confidence is restored.

Nary a sign about eternal damnation for preaching the morality of abortion and so forth. It's just the left that are out in Boston. College kids and 30-somethings for the most part, but a couple of old guard liberals are dotted among the predominantly youthful demographic.

Dedicated bunch, too, considering the rain that falls. Not overly heavy, but an annoying steady drizzle that must be unpleasant to stand in.

Good. Serves 'em right.

Several of them are looking directly at the limo, a vain attempt to catch a glimpse of the dreaded author hidden behind tinted windows. They know it's me that's arriving. I'm the reason they're standing here in the rain.

Shawmut Books is the scene of my latest brew ha ha. Once one gets past the angry mob gathering outside to tar, feather and anally rape me, it seems like quite the charming New England bookstore.

Ms. Cabal speaks for the first time since we left the airport, addressing both Cassandra and I:

"I spoke to the manager here at Shawmut yesterday and instructed the driver before we left the airport. The limo will pull up to the back employee entrance, away from all these protestors. Cassandra will exit first to ensure that no one approaches us."

"What if they really want an autograph," I quip

"Then they can wait in line like everyone else," Ms. Cabal answers sharply. "Please, Darwin, this is not to be taken lightly."

"Sorry, Ms. Cabal, it's just that I can see worrying about the Crusader types down South, but a bunch of misguided Beantown catholics and libs can't be that dangerous."

"Darwin, unfortunately you are not aware of every possibility in a situation such as this. Perhaps we will discuss such matters at a later date. For now, you "

What the hell does every possibility mean? Guess she'll tell me when she wants to. Per usual.

She hasn't said a word about her date last night and why should she? I've got to get over her and concentrate on Cassandra.

Cassandra's a human being, with her feet firmly rooted on this planet. Not a cold, unknowable goddess.

Not another word is spoken as the limo pulls up in front of the employee entrance in the back as Ms. Cabal had detailed. The manager is waiting for us already with the door held open. When it stops, Cassandra immediately gets out and secures the area while Ms. Cabal and I enter the bookstore.

As I forecast, none of those protesters even came close to the limo as our entire party waltzes into Shawmut without incident. Feels good to be right, though I'm not about to correct Ms. Cabal. She'll just trump me with "every possibility".

Less than a half hour later, I'm standing at the podium before a densely packed room of strangers that less than a year ago had no interest in me whatsoever.

All strangers but one. Spot that dirty blonde guy from Chicago. The one with all the energy. And Palmer is his name-o. Is he following me, on "tour" with me, as if I was some kind of rockstar? Very notion is laughable.

The only other option is to be worried about him though, but not going to waste energy on negativity, so I'll assume he's a genuine, overly enthusiastic spastic fan.

NEXT SCENE IN BOSTON SHOULD HAVE ME COMPARING THE PROTEST THERE TO ATLANTA

OPENS W/ SOMETHING ON WOMEN, THE MOST PERTINENT
RANT ON WOMEN AND CHRISTIANITY

MAYBE GIVE THIS TALK IN BOSTON
"If you've read any of the signs of protest out there--and you really should, some of them are hilarious, I took photos and I'll be posting them on my website as soon as I get a chance.
"Since I can't piss off the residents of this town any more than I already have, why not get deep into the never controversial topic of Women and christianity.

"Some of you have read I'm a feminist. No doubt some of you have also read that I'm a sexist pig."

The collective laughter emitted from the audience is sufficiently knowing to confirms my suspicions on the matter.

"I can tell you this--I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for the strength of a woman. I'm referring to my publisher and professional confidant, Ms. Cabal And I know all women can have her power--not to be like Ms. Cabal, but to harness such power in the manner she does. With such power, women don't need christianity and will in fact find it to be a hindrance in their lives and progressions."

While speaking, I intentionally seek out the eyes of the women in the crowd, it's important to make a brief, yet impacting impression on them, and also use the split second glance to gauge their reaction to my words.

I've also used the arena of the live monologue to introduce some freedom into my
Or should I say, more freedom than I usually permit myself.

Undisciplined discipline.

"Any discussion of women and christianity has to touch upon the pagan origins of christianity. Just like the Sacred Feminine, the pagan derivation of christianity was suppressed for centuries by the church.

"Here in this day and age, we can discuss those once shrouded and forbidden origins, many of which still surprise the average person to this day.

"One of the religious mystery groups of Ancient Greece, the Orphics, set a template for christianity by preaching that all non-followers of the Orphic faith were doomed to spend eternity filling one sieve with water from another sieve, an unending task.

"Even before I wrote this book, I heavily researched the true origins of christianity. Take Mithraism, like Orphism, a progenitor of christianity, it was such an influence on the christian faith that followed it, but why was it supplanted by christianity?

"For the simple fact that Mithraism failed to utilize the overwhelming--and overbearing conversion tactics and methods of christianity it was not able to

"It's kind of like life. If you're honest, fair and propose that people think for themselves, you generally get squashed--or if you're fortunate, merely overlooked. On the other hand--and often with the other hand, if you cheat, take shortcuts and appeal to the worst in mankind, you end up on top.

"And so it was that pagan religions were both squashed and overlooked by the rapidly emergent church in Rome.

"It was merely a transference of power, from decadent emperors to hypocritical pious popes. In the process, the much more valid pagan religions were forced to the shadows, covertly maintaining their traditions in the underbelly of their christianized culture.

"The suppression of women by the christian church has logically paralleled their suppression of the pagan religions; for women represent the same thing the pagan religions do--man surrendering his reason to erotic mystical passions.

"christianity merely asks that their flock surrender their reason to adhering to a strict moral code

"Was thinking of saving this for Boston, but given Roe v Wade, Washington seems a much more appropriate place for me to explore a little concept I like to call...

"The Moral Imperative for Abortion.

"An unwanted child vs a desired abortion

"Abortion as an act of a woman to dictate the destiny of her own body. christian morality views a woman's body as a vessel destined to carry a baby to term.

"Women who are anti-abortionists are among life's greatest mysteries. It's understandable why short-sighted males want to control women's bodies and view them as their rightful property, but for women to turn on other women at the most intimate level is deplorable.

"I understand there are many women who would never have an abortion for a variety of reasons, often times religion/moral are not among those reasons.

"One of the aims of the essay was to explore the unique appeal christianity has to women, how it holds them stagnant, undermining the progress of their own gender.

"Though I am loathe to speak in collectivist terms, it is plainly evident that christianity subordinates women, and while recognizing the tremendous gains that women have made in the last century, those things are at peril if this secular world should ever give way to a theocracy. Theocracy may sound absurd at best, paranoid at worst to most of you, and even I doubt the likelihood of sustained success of a theocracy. However, that is a topic for another city, Denver, I think, so if you want to see it, you'll just have to follow me there."

A few laughs float up from the crowd, the kind of laughs that suggest following me from city to city is as absurd as the possibility of theocracy.

"Therefore, when women perpetuate christianity in any of its varied forms, they are just perpetuating a system that provides a false spirituality that diminishes the opportunities for women to advance in the material world.

"Women are told the ideal female figure in the christian faith is a virgin, who was conceived by a possibly friendly ghost otherwise known as the holy spirit. If you want more on the holy spirit, you'll have to join the tour in Boston. Hey, it's helluva lot closer than the Rockies.

"To this day, nuns in the catholic church must remain unwed and celibate. An obvious fact, but if woman took a step back and really looked at it, would any of them remain catholic? Especially if they knew that the origin of nuns was as concubines for the catholic church back in Rome?

"Christianity exploits the female tendency to prefer illusion to reality. Lest you think this is a sexist statement, it can be attributed to the patriarchal system that oppressed women and denied them the opportunity to contribute to the creation of society. Being denied full access to reality, women turned to the inner world of the imagination. A strong imagination was also critical to mothers seeking to entertain their children with stories at bedtime and otherwise in an era long before TV and video games.

"Women also tend to be more ethereal in their thinking and certainly more prone to intuition.

"When christianity found that the devil was a very powerful tool and the sin most associated with satanic practices was sex; the subtext is that women were evil and must be subjucated.

"Women were associated with the morally inferior; evidence of this is found in the double standard that a sexually liberated woman is a slut or whore, such a man is a virile stud to be admired and envied.

"Women were cast in this position because they represent man abandoning his spiritual ideals for the lust that is granted between a woman's legs

"The catholic church of the dark ages required a scapegoat in the fifteenth century in order to justify its hold on the populace, the pagan religions that had served the role so well in the nascent church's rise to dominance had either been stamped out or driven underground in rudimentary fragments.

"This new scapegoat was conveniently found in the guise of witches--and the association of witches with magic, black or otherwise made it much easier to ally witches with the devil than it was pagans, because it's a logical contradiction that a religion that refuses to acknowledge the existence of a being such as the devil would actually spend a whole lot of time worshipping said prince of darkness.

"And it wasn't just the catholic church that saw the 'witch fever' that spread across Europe (and later, to America) as a convenient apparatus, Luther and Calvin advocated burning and killing witches in order to rid the countryside of their wickedness.

"But were witches truly viewed as a threat? Of course not; besides the aforementioned subjugation of women, establishing the reality of witches was a means by which a given religion could rally the faithful flock to oppose the very real threat of satan and his human agents--witches. Convincing the masses that devil is real also solidified their belief in god/christ and the metaphysical/spiritual world in general.

"Perhaps even more critically, the tangible existence of witches (whether any of these ladies possessed any tangible powers is another matter altogether) allowed the church to absolve god the burden of creating evil in the world. It has always been quite the theological dilemma for monotheistic religions that preach worshipping uber-benevolent deities to explain evil in the world, namely, Why would a god of pure goodness allow the existence of evil, pain and suffering into a physical plane that he created?

"With the devil, that valid philosophical question is avoided altogether--god has nothing to do with it, for it is the devil who is the spawn of all evil, and his human agents, like witches, and today, gays who want to get married are those who spread his evil across the physical world.

"One final note on this trip down memory lane; we're all familiar with the term the 'Dark Ages' that describes the period of Western history when the catholic church dominated and oppressed the European culture at large. But how many of you have heard about the Burning Times? This was a horrifying century from 1550 to 1650--not that long ago in relative terms--in France, Germany and Switzerland that saw the trial--and execution of witches, although the 17th century did see the end of capital punishment for witches, with the practice subsequently spreading to the paranoid shores of the fledgling American nation, dealing with native tribes and harsh winters.

"Imposing their religion over all things gave the pilgrims a sense of control--and women were controlled as much as any element of the New World.

"So to summarize, we find a ridiculously large amount of reasons why women should not surrender to christianity's seductive charms

"One, by suppressing women, christianity assured it would remain a patriarchal institution. Two, by denying the Sacred Feminine, christianity rid itself of the pagan aspects of christianity (and the pagan secret origins of christianity itself), Three, it perpetuated the notion and subsequent reality that women were merely vessels designed to carry a man's child to term. That is why abortion is so central to the religious debate these days; it has little if nothing to do with saving unborn lives, because any of those hypocrites would have their daughter get an abortion if there was a nasty inconvenient or even scandalous pregnancy, but rather it has everything to do with controllng women, their bodies, and their freedom of choice. Four, women's sexuality was used as a device to induce guilt, that favorite standby of christianity. A mentally healthy human being realizes that true feelings of guilt, remorse, etc only comes from within the individual, it cannot be legitimately be imposed from the external world

"If you'll indulge me a moment--and perhaps, you indulge every moment I stand on this podium, but be that as it may. I'd like to speak about women in broader terms--no pun intended--as a way of understanding why many of them are so damn faithful to an anti-feminist religious system."

LACK OF IMAGINATION, PURPOSE, THE NEED FOR EXTERNAL STIMULATION


"You've probably noticed that I often use the term 'christianity' where it may be politically correct to say 'the catholic church' or simply, 'the church', but that is because christianity is the driving force behind these malignant manifestations such as the catholic church and the subsequent oppression of women that is the topic on the table--or podium, as it were--tonight.

"For too long, christianity as a religious system has gotten off both the metaphysical and philosophical hooks; the blame for some negative aspect is generally assigned to a particular denomination, catholic being first and foremost. Although it is evangelical christianity which has come to dominate the American landscape in this context.

"But attacking or singling out one particular denomination is never going to solve the large problems that christianity both represents and presents to the culture at large. Therefore, I choose to refer to christianity as a whole

I've been asked about that by some readers--or maybe they're people who hate my guts, so just thought I should address that one

BELOW IS TO BE EDITED OUT OF HUB BUB

"Boston seems like as good a place as any to take a closer look at something that baffles even the most knowledgeable christian soldier--the Holy Spirit.

"Is it god? Is it christ? Is it the father of christ? Is it the sperm of god? Is it a dove? Is it water? Is it fire? Does it proceed from the father? Does it proceed from the son? Does it proceed with caution?

"The concept of the holy spirit is yet another example of the fragmented, arbitrary belief system that the various sects of christianity asks its respective followers to accept over the years

"Why does the holy spirit exist? To create a trinity between it and the father (god), the son (christ, the basis for christianity).

"Why was a trinity necessary? Perhaps to promote christianity to the masses who existed in a culture where previously dominant polytheistic religions often featured trinities of gods.

"Like many tenets of christianity, the concept of the holy spirit and the holy trinity appear to be man made creations.

"What I wanted to talk about today is to answer all the questions I've gotten about metaphysics, and since they've been accumulating on tour, it seemed like a good time to address it."

"In a way, this knowledge really drives a stake in the heart of christianity, so I'm especially glad to share it with you, my Boston readers, because that demonstration outside really pissed me off

JESUS IS NOT THE SON OF GOD TALK, QUOTE WHERE HE DENIES BEING SO

HAVE TO MAKE SOME REFERENCE TO THIS BEING CASSANDRA'S HOMETOWN--or rather, decide against it, don't want to blow her cover.

HOLY SPIRIT

After the lecture, 'backstage' as it were, Cassandra corners me in an area hidden from view behind shelves of books and tells me she's off to

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