Entry IV--Three Sides of the Same Coin

(Note: The first three entries of Darwin Blinks can be found below).

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me...as the old saying goes.

I think I’ve got this figured out now.

Every time I’ve hallucinated, I’ve either been out somewhere or sober, so the logical conclusion I draw from that is from now on I’m going to be drunk--and a homebody.

A hermit of epic proportions.

But if I never leave the house, except to get booze from the downstairs store, how will I possibly bring in any money to pay the rent--and more importantly, how will I pay for more booze?

Wary of doing anything that would stimulate me, but growing bored just staring at the wall.

Music is out…haven’t listened to any since NYE. Yeah, I know what Nietzsche said about life’s meaning without music in it, but I’ll have to do without it until I get my head straight. Make that...straighter.


Head lazily rolls around on my neck until I see the computer on the table behind me.

Haven’t approached that dusty old thing this entire new year.

Weird how rarely I approach the PC when it used to be such an integral part of my life.

Couple years ago, I was a total Internet junkie, practically living on it. That’s where I bought everything, conducted all my writing business, ordered food and found women to go out with me.

But I’m just bored and drunk enough to surf…

Fire up the computer and the Web…

Up comes my home page which includes a listing of news headlines, most of them mainstream and generally worthless, but occasionally I’ll find something of interest…

Like right now:

CHEMICAL TRUCK BOMBED CARRYING 4-YEM MATERIALS, DRIVER DEAD, RADICAL GROUP 'FORCE OF CHRIST' CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY

Not again.

Scroll down to scan the article, not that it's anything I haven't read before--or that long ago.

Didn't the Force Of christ bomb something else just last month? Maybe it will say somewhere in the body if I read closer...

Distracted from that thought by spotting what I was looking for--in January, the FOc bombed a pharmacy in Columbus, Ohio that was selling 4-YEM. It was the only place south of Cleveland where you could get the abortion pill in the state. Until last month, that is.

It says here that increasingly, pharmacies have started hiring small private security forces to protect their interests

So with half the pharmacies in the US too scared shitless to sell 4-YEM in fear of being bombed and the other half surrounded by small armies to prevent being bombed, it seems FOc has shifted focus to targeting the actual chemicals used to make 4-YEM.

4-YEM is the so-called "abortion pill," a synthetic steroid women ingest to terminate a pregnancy. 4-YEM was a remarkable improvement over its mifepristone predecessor, assuring in pregnancy termination in 99 percent of cases and effective up to 90 days following conception.

The unfortunate one percent for whom 4-YEM is ineffective have to either have a baby they don’t want, fly out of America to a country that hasn’t outlawed abortion…yet, or resort to the lowest option of all—an illegal abortion (or "bort" in slang), performed by dubious doctors operating out of back alley clinics and motel rooms, procedures which are often hazardous and risky to the pregnant woman’s health.

More details in the story brings up a familiar scenario following any of these--investigators searching through the rubble of an FOc bombing, but yet never seem to be able to find a shread of evidence linking any living person to the FOc, even though they've been around for going on two decades now.

It's more like they're just a gathering of shadows that are real good with plastic explosives.

Some say that the FOc was partly responsible for abortion being made illegal; that the violence they perpetuated against clinics caused so many to shut down that there wasn't enough resistance to the legislation that ultimately outlawed them.

With surgical abortion out of the picture, the FOc turned their attention to 4-YEM, and according to this article, it's becoming increasingly difficult to obtain, espcially in more rural areas.

Their strategy is consistent with their stated goals in the rare communiques they have released--to completely eliminate abortion from the American landscape.

(Though I tend to doubt FOc has a solution, final or otherwise, for coat hangars. Also, given their white proto-fascistic evangelical leanings, they probably wouldn’t object too much to minorities getting abortions).

When you think about it, targeting the trucks that carry the 4-YEM chemicals makes a helluva lot more sense, from a terrorist perspective.

Trucks are easy to target, out all alone on the open road. They have to make stops for fuel and repairs for the rig, and for food and bodily functions for the driver. Leaving the vehicle unattended and offering many opportunities for explosives to be planted on said vehicle by perpetrators following the truck in a vehicle of their own.

Scroll up mindlessly back to the story's headline and note with interest that it referred to the FOc as a "radical group" and not a "terrorist group" which would be more correct. If the FOc ain't terrorists, who the fuck is?

The paper, like the federal government, also describes the FOc as "leaderless, without any known ties to any particular group or individual."

I disrespectfully disagree.

I know all about FOc's ties to groups and individuals alike.

How do I know these things that seemingly alude megacorporate media and the most powerful government in the history of the world?

Easy. For you see, ladies and gentleman, I have a problem:

I am a...conspiracy theorist.

Though I much prefer the term "reality theorist."

It just happens to be a reality that is not reported on nor commented on, and thus escapes the awareness of all but a select few--such as myself.

Reckon I stumbled onto this hobby because it was an extension of my anti-christian leanings. In other words, since I found christianity to be a lie, why then wouldn’t other institutions—i.e., government--be likewise based on lies, treachery and deceit?

Christianity claims to have a person’s best interests at heart, when actually the opposite is true, and such is the case with the U.S. government, especially in the darkest unseen corners of the Pentagon and in Langley, VA.

After I finally gave in to the rest of the world and got the Internet at home a few years ago, it wasn't long until I literally spent hours upon hours researching conspiracies and communicating with others who felt as I did.

Usually found kindred minds on certain message boards. Some might scoff, but there’s a certain honesty and integrity to be had on a discussion board. You get to know a person based on their ideas, and they way they express themselves. It’s a lot easier to be freer and bolder than when dealing with someone face-to-face, or even on the phone, where self-consciousness often dominates the dynamic.

From these discussion boards with themes like conspiracy theories, atheism, free thought and anarchy, a small network of Internet geeks such as myself sprung up. Our network of nerds soon lead us to conclude that each of us had some data that the others didn’t, like jigsaw pieces scattered about the world, but that nobody had the data that would complete the puzzle.

Even though none of us had all the pieces, there was a fundamental truth we all shared--our collective conviction that there was a concerted effort on the part of certain elements of US intelligence/military to subvert the last vestiges of democracy in America.

That’s it. That’s as far as we were prepared to go. None of us ever had the balls to use the “T” word. Theocracy.

Theocracy is rule by religion. In this case, christianity. Old Testicle biblical law would replace the Constitution as the law of the land. Democracy, inalienable and civil rights would cease to exist.

Freedom of speech, along with just about every other freedom, would be out the window.

One reason no one would say it is because there is no concrete evidence that a theocracy is in the works, there's no hard proof, and we wanted to stick to things we could document. One of us had a connection

Second, we didn't want to become too competitive with our individual pet theories and possibly splinter us off into divided factions that are counterproductuve.

Another reason, and probably the dominant one, was that nobody wants the others to think he was that paranoid to think that the bible belting gestapo would be knocking at our door any day now.

But privately, I think each and every one of us thought that theocracy was in the wind. Including me.

Especially me.

That's because I have a cyberpal that none of the others know about. A man(?) who actually has connections to the U.S. military and intellgience agencies.

I know him as Sawyer.

Not his real name, of course, that’s his nom de cyberspace.

Don't know his real name, and not sure I'd want to. Could be dangerous. Don't think I'd ever want to meet him, either.

I say "him" and assume he's a guy because a) "Tom Sawyer" is a masculine name, b) he writes in the voice of a "guy" and c) he seems to know waaaaay too much about the proverbial "old boys network" one finds associated with the Pentagon and CIA.

Know it sounds sexist, but I can't help it: It would blow my mind if it was a woman who knew all this. Can't imagine she'd be very good looking.

He says he goes by Tom Sawyer because, like the fictional character that serves as his inspiration, Tom is the one with the "smarts" while I, going by the nom de cyber of Huck Finn, am the one who acts out his lofty ambitions in "real life" (as it were) by disseminating the information he clandestinely passes on to me, which I then pass on to the other webgeeks.

Tom regards us not unlike "troops on the front line" but really, when you think about it, we haven't done all that much beyond Internet postings. It’s not like us have ever written a book on the subject. Hell, I've never even written an article on the subject.

We’re better informed than the general populace, but that’s about it.

On that free-thinkers forum where I first “met” Tom, he was quickly impressed with my level on knowledge on the subject and eventually came to trust me enough that he told me who he was and that which he knew.

Not that he's ever told me exactly what he does, but he’s hinted at it: working somewhere in the murky depths of military contracting consulting; he claims to be involved with military/intelligence personnel at the highest levels.

Sometimes Tom says more than he should; he's let it drop he's a computer programmer and advises military and intel on security issues. While still remaing humble, Tom's told me that he's so well-connected, he’s privy to certain classified info even before certain high-ranking military and intel brass get their paws on it.

But it's not like Tom is is in on the meetings where FOc members actually consort with legitimate military officers/Intelligence agents, he hears this all second-hand himself.

From whom, do you ask? Why, from those who oppose whoever it is they're snitching on.

You see, military intelligence is not a monolith by any means. There are competing, yes, even warring factions. Some are legitimately concerned with preserving constitutional democracy, while others are hell bent on installing fascism—or maybe even the aforementioned theocracy.

Those that are opposed to the fascists/theocrats are the ones who pass on info to various “outsiders,” such as Tom Sawyer because they know this news would never be released by any "legitimate" media outlet.

Course, there’s always the possibility that Tom Sawyer is actually conspiring against us, that he’s playing me and the other conspiracy geeks all for suckers of the highest order.

Perhaps one day I should expect to be rounded up, in the middle of the night, by some secret police force?

Maybe I should expect for that to happen, but I don’t.

I won’t.

I can’t.

Tom Sawyer just seems too genuine.

Besides, it's not like me and the geeks are plotting secession, sedition or attempting to overthrow the government in any way shape or form, we're jus passing...information along.

Albeit information that the government would not want ordinary citizens to possess--“national security” concerns and all.

Another possibility is that Tom Sawyer’s being lied to by his “contacts,” that they’re either setting him up or leading him astray.

See how easy it is to get paranoid with this hobby?

Bottom line, Tom Sawyer means too much to our research, to our hopes of actually cracking the conspiracy open, for us to abandon him or to mistrust him on any level.

So what exactly has Tom Sawyer told us?

That the FOc is connected to the both the military and the Crusaders of the New Millenium, for one thing.

Also, that the Crusaders are tied to the U.S. military--which really wasn't any big revelation, seeing that Rev. Pleasant was one of the most famous generals in U.S. military history.

But the FOc connections are another thing altogether--especially when you consider the official line is that the FOc has no connections to anyone anywhere.

Definitely a case of the establishment, be it government or media, protesting too much.

My comrades and I know better...